GCSE's
Doesn't say much for our educational system in the UK, if even half these aretrue!!
the following questions and answers were collected from last year's GCSEexam results in Swindon, Wiltshire. They are genuine responses (from 16year olds)!GeographyQ: Name the four seasons.A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe todrink.A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes largepollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.Q: How is dew formed?A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tendsto flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, andNature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.SociologyQ: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.Q: What are steroids?A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.BiologyQ: What happens to your body as you age?A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.A: Premature death.Q: What is artificial insemination?A: When the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g.>abdomen)A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax theabdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains theheart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E, I, O and U.Q: What is the Fibula?A: A small lie.Q: What does "varicose" mean?A: Nearby.Q: What is the most common form of birth control?A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.Q: What is a seizure?A: A Roman emperor.Q: What is a terminal illness?A: When you are sick at the airportQ: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look likeumbrellas.EnglishQ: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand itsmeaning.A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.Q: What does the word "benign" mean?A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.TechnologyQ: What is a turbine?A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head
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07-15-2007, 09:01 AM
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