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09-28-2007, 12:53 AM
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Disorder in the Courts
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America, and are things attorneys actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had to suffer from the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ************************************************** ******* ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. ***************************** ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m . ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ***************************** ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ***************************** ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? ***************************** ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? ***************************** ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? ***************************** ATTORNEY: Now doctor isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? *****************************  LOVE U ALL 
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10-13-2007, 03:26 PM
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Love those jokes about stupid questions from lawyers from cross-examining.
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10-13-2007, 03:48 PM
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this is to funny...i dont know where you find this stuff,,,but its greattttttt
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