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Old 11-03-2007, 05:40 AM
Useek File Sergeant
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 34
Default Children And The Church

A little boy was attending his first wedding.

After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

__________________________________________________ ___________


After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister When I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."



__________________________________________________ ___________


A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."
__________________________________________________ ____________

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.


"How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

__________________________________________________ ____________

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,

"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

__________________________________________________ ___________

After the christening of his baby brother in church,


little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"


__________________________________________________ _________

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an

airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. The Flight to Egypt, was his reply.

Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.


__________________________________________________ ___________


The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," little Johnny replies,
"I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."


__________________________________________________ _____________
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!'

It worked."


__________________________________________________ ____________


This is the best one. A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.

From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book

and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.

Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,

"God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
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