1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and apes? 4. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where
all the bad girls live.
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help section?". She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose. 6. What if there were no hypothetical questions? 7. If a deaf
person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
8. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there
is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong? 9. If someone with
multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a
hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
12. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
13. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?
14. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
15. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
16. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
17. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
18. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
19. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?
20. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
21. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
22. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

23. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
24. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
25. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
26. How is it possible to have a civil war?
27. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
28. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
29. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
30. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
31. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
32. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
33. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
34. If the "black box" flight recorder is never destroyed during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 35. Why is
there an expiration date on sour cream?